Hard Times

The last 2 weeks, as those of you who know us intimately have been able to read, have been very bad. I can’t say the worst of our life because hey, distance fades pain and agony and we're human, with all the attendant drama. But bad this definitely was. We are not really out of it yet, either. Himself has been through several serious/critical phases through these weeks and is frail, so we can only sit next to him and nag him into getting better. But this morning my thoughts crystallized through the fear, pain and sorrow:


1: We have a family.
We have our differences of opinion, lifestyle and reading tastes but we are one organism. The rest of my life I will see myself, flanked by sons and daughters, confronting the doctors. There was no ‘in-law’ status, or  ‘cold side’ or any other nonsensical division of love and caring. Just us. Calm, hysterical, crying, stiff-upper-lipped. Truly. Those who were not there physically could be felt in our atoms and the air we breathed. One in our love for one another and Himself.

2: We have friends.
The amount of friendship we can draw on is mind-boggling. We are fairly introverted but we have managed to gather a large group of wonderful people from all walks of life; from our childhood to recent, new friends, spread all over the world,  who all just seemed to be there.  As though we’re the middle of our world but as we threaten to implode the ‘peripheral’ rushes in and shores us up...I realise we are all the middle and yet also the peripheral and we can shore up and be shored up.

3. We have love
Well duh! you say. Not so. Love is never duh. Where you love, how you love can differ and the object of our love does not always love back but the loving is a thing of beauty and breaks through even the greatest fear. A friend was flabbergasted when, in the midst of all the drama playing here, I remarked that she had been overdoing things and to take care. Yes, I can be in mortal fear and see her pain. It is perhaps the only multi-tasking of any importance. Ignoring the rest of the world is not necessarily the way to live through hard times.

Donald Trump did not get a look-in, but friends’ pain and love and lives count. Always. Not just when I am happy.

4. Our future is now and it includes you
Whatever we get dished up in the coming days, months and years we can survive. The good, bad and ugly are just that. Not the prerogative of a few, just part of the whole. Survival might not even mean alive. But you will remember us, Jan and Mel. Tell stories of us, look at old Facebook memories and say remember when. Our atoms will scatter into the world. We will be part of you. And as your atoms, joined with ours, are scattered to the world we will all live on.

Being a Shorer-Upper
Friends, family, readers and leaders. I wish you family. I wish you friends and love. And I wish you the courage to take this day, your future, and live it. Make good choices or bad choices. But choose. You have your life. Live it now. Don’t wait for tomorrow. Don’t wait for Christmas to be kind. Don’t wait until your own bad times are past to realise there are others out there who need shoring up. Be a shorer-upper. And you will be shored-up.

Not-Christmas Wishes
My wishes for you as this year ends with my husband in hospital but the family united: I and my dearest ones wish you, of course, good health. We wish you a wealth of family, friends and love. Especially, we wish you the wisdom to recognize them and the capacity to appreciate them.

PS: I am going to be the only woman in the world who gained weight while her husband was in ICU: chocolate is very comforting but fattening:-)

Namasté, my dears.